perspective

Today, one of my wee patients (not to sound too patronising... but she was wee) on a dander up the ward with me said, ‘I’m so lucky. I could be in Darfur or the Gaza strip...’ She was referring to access to healthcare. I guess perspective on healthcare can be a great thing. I’m not sure everyone would agree on her outlook on it... but I have to say that when people complain about the NHS, I do sometimes feel like saying – go to Africa and then complain... (even though occassionally I know it's probably been me that's been complaining about workforce planning, agenda for change confusion, bureaucracy etc.. i get sucked in being a CSP rep...).

In general though, I think the same thing about university. Ok, so I’ve been frustrated by lack of efficiency/some terrible lecturers at times, but talking to friends in Nigeria and considering the alternative of endless strikes, corruption and having to play the game to get through, I’d take it any day. It’s all relative.

But then I know that comparing things to the worst rather than the best doesn’t promote a desire for excellence and it's easy to settle for the status quo...

The psychologist wanabe (who appears randomly in my mind) would refer to this article – maybe our common emotional response to the NHS is all based on our expectations and maybe we have a silver medalist complex... because we're aiming for gold.

emotions

I had a great conversation over coffee with a friend today. We were talking about many things, but we started discussing emotions and faith. The psychology-freak in me probably makes me over-analyse on this one! This is what we discussed: I wonder if sometime we think that negative emotions are always seen to be a bad thing that we have to get sorted in order to be right with God/people? Do we say I’m down/angry/depressed at the minute, but I’m trying to get back to normal... (what is normal? coming from a psyc degree, we’re all on a spectrum anyway!) And sometimes, don’t you think that it is often our deepest, negative emotions that ultimately can draw us closer to God and point us to real hope. Maybe that sounds like a contradiction, but it’s just been something I’ve been thinking about over the summer too. It stems from two books I’ve just read: The Consolations of Theology which looks at various topics such as anxiety, depression, obsession, disappointment, pain etc from the perspectives of some great theologians, and The Cry of the Soul by two guys my dad studied with (here's one review). Some quotes to help explain what I mean:

“Anxiety is not something to flee from; but it is here, in the midst of the anxiety that is built into the fabric of our fallen world, that we can hear the promises of the gospel most sharply. It is here I am summoned to believe, to stake my all on the Son of God who loved me and gave himself up for me. -Kierkegaard

“In an important sense we must despair of all else in order to wholeheartedly rely on Christ and what he has done for us.” – Martin Luther

“Despair is an absence of hope – a loss of desire in the face of disappointment in relationship. Oddly, however, this difficult emotion can open the heart to grasp something about a hope that transcends mere human relationship. Despair can open the heart to taste hope in God.” Allender & Longman p145

“Don’t assume that resolving your turbulent emotions is the key to meeting God. It is actually within the inner mayhem of life that a stage is built for the intrusive story of His light and hope. The absence of tumult, more than its presence, is an enemy of the soul. God meets you in your weakness, not in your strength. He comforts those who mourn, not those who live above desperation.” Allender & Longman p27

I guess I’ve had one of those emotion-filled weeks... mostly negative. I’m not saying we should want to cling to those negative emotions, but I think I need to realise that in different seasons, it’s normal and maybe in the midst of when I’m struggling the most, ideas like grace and hope become so much more real. It’s completely different than some of the songs I remember singing as a child: like, climb up sunshine mountain/i’m in-right out-right upright downright happy all the time... What kind of crazy theology was that??

It’s back to a Spurgeon quote to round off this thought:
“What is my desolation? It is the black setting for the sapphire of His everlasting love.”

random facts!

So here are two random facts I learned this week…

From one my paediatric lectures on normal movement in newborns…
Did you know that babies are born with a reflex called the galant response… which means that when you stimulate the back extensors along either side of the spine that the baby does a little wiggle to the same side? It’s supposed to help during birth and then the reflex disappears between 3-6 months!! How cool is that? (speaking of which…can’t wait to meet my wee niece or nephew in less than a month!)

From one of my oncology lectures… (stood out for me i think because of my interest in both psychology & God stuff…) Researchers (Calhoun & Tedeschi) have coined the term post traumatic growth to describe when sometimes people dealing with trauma, such as cancer, can have positive “changes in how people think of themselves, their relationships with others, including all of humanity, as well as profound philosophical, spiritual, or religious changes.”
I think it resonates so much with the idea of perseverance producing character and character hope…

(i’m actually really enjoying my classes at the minute... yay!)

happiness

one of the economic lecturers at my university has just published a study that found that money can't buy happiness. see a short review of his findings here. kinda feel like saying, really? duh!? but then i guess society goals are often very much focused around increasing income. he doesn't seem to mention religion at all... i wonder if he even included it in the survey? not that i'm saying that all 'religious' people are happy.. but in my psyc of religion module we looked at studies that have found the feeling of 'closeness to god' correlates to happiness (pollner, 1989); having firm beliefs or 'existential certainty' correlated with life-satisfaction (ellison, 1991); increased feelings of meaning and purpose in relation to happiness (chamberlain & zika, 1988). i guess he's coming from a economist perpective not a psychological; although in this case it's related. anyway, just interesting when concrete research points out things that jesus already talked about (matt6.19); life is more than just getting as much money as possible as if that will make you happy...

happiness is one of those funny words anyway. what does it mean? is it different for everyone? can you really measure happiness? hmm... need to get out my psyc books more often :) but they probably only give one side of the story anyway...

here's part of a poem by steve stockman called 'the swing of the pendulum'

Between tradition and change
Between mayhem and bored
Between actions and words
Between destitute and to horde
Between soft mercy and working hard
Between content and never could be
Between the moment and forever
Between blind trust and what you see
Between inferiority and pride
Between your grace and what I confess
I ride the swing of the pendulum
To the balance of happiness.