hope's daughters

"Hope has two beautiful daughters; their names are anger and courage. Anger at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain as they are."
-St Augustine (HT: peter)

the promise

"The Christian faith, as I understand it, is not primarily a matter of signing on for the proposition that there exists a Supreme Being, but the kind of commitment made manifest by a human being at the end of his tether, foundering in darkness, pain and bewilderment, who nevertheless remains faithful to the promise of transformative love."
-Terry Eagleton, Reason, Faith & Revolution

realm beyond words

"Not everything has a name. Some things lead us into the realm beyond words... it is like that small mirror in the fairy tales – you glance in it and what you see is not yourself; for an instant you glimpse the Inaccessible, where no horse or magic carpet can take you. And the soul cries out for it." -Solzhenitsyn, Nobel lecture 1970

true grace

"True grace is not an inactive thing; there is nothing in heaven or earth of a more active nature; for it is life itself, and the most active kind of life, even spiritual and divine life. It is no barren thing; there is nothing in the universe that in its nature has a greater tendency to fruit. Godliness in the heart has as direct a relation to practice as a fountain has to a stream, or as the luminous nature of the sun has to beams sent forth, or as life has to breathing or the beating of the pulse or any other vital act; or as a habit or principle of action has to action; for it is the very nature and notion of grace, that it is a principle of action or practice."

Jonathan Edwards
Religious Affections p320

soli deo gloria

David Brainerd on his twenty-fifth.... April 1718
"Set apart this day for fasting and prayer, to bow my soul before God for the bestowment of divine grace; especially that all my sprirtual afflictions and inward distresses might be sanctified to my soul. And endeavoured also to remember the goodness of God to me the year past, this day being my birthday. Having obtained help of God, I have hitherto lived and am now arriving at the age of twenty-five years. My soul was pained to think of my barrenness and deadness; that I have lived so little to the glory of the eternal God. I spent the day in the woods alone, and there poured out my complaint to God. Oh, that God would enable me to live to His glory for the future!"

Ok, so I haven't spent the day fasting alone in the woods... but I want to echo that last sentence on my twenty-fifth :)

justice & mercy

A few of us from my church met up with 3 inspiring ladies on thursday night who are reaching out into their local communities via a ministry (connected with their churches) called Besom in east belfast and ballynahinch. Very thought provoking... and challenging. We are just trying to think about ideas of ways we, as a church, could maybe help meet the needs of the community around us.... it's one thing to know we want to 'do justice and love mercy' but how exactly to put that into practice as a church is more difficult.

"If justice is the heart of God's vision for his redemptive work, we are bound to see the ecclesia as the alternative society in which those who are 'called out' of oppressive societies live that vision out." Scot McKnight, A Community Called Atonement p130

"Mercy is a command of God, yet it cannot simply be a response to a demand. It must arise out of hearts made generous and gracious by an understanding and experience of God's mercy. It is the hearts of the congregation that must be melted until they ask, 'where is my neighbour?'" Tim Keller, Ministries of Mercy p135

save the world?

My cousin's husband is a clinical psychologist and he was speaking in belfast today.... He shared this quote which I like:

"We don't set out to save the world; we set out to wonder how other people are doing and to reflect on how our actions affect other people's hearts." -Pema Chodron

for lent

"Repentance means turning from as much as you know of your sin to give as much as you know of yourself to as much as you know of your God, and as our knowledge grows at these three points, so our practice of repentance has to be enlarged." -J.I. Packer

And from another ''borrowed" book, this time from my dad...
"If we ought ever to exercise our affections at all, then they ought to be exercised about those objects which are most worthy of them. But is there anything which Christians can find in heaven or earth so worthy to be the objects of their admiration and love, their earnest and longing desires, their hope, and their rejoicing, and their fervent zeal, as these things that are held forth to us in the gospel of Jesus Christ?" - Jonathan Edwards, Religious Affections

grace to abide

Another random quote that just struck a cord with me...

"The idea [many Christians] have of grace is this: that their conversion and pardon are God's work, but that now, in gratitude to God, it is their work to live as Christians and follow Jesus... No wandering one, as it was Jesus who drew thee when He spake 'Come' so it is Jesus who keeps thee when he says 'Abide'. The grace to come and the grace to abide are alike from Him alone."
-Andrew Murray

Do I only see grace as this: 'O to grace, how great a debtor, daily I'm constrained to be...'

sense of sweetness

Tim Keller in his book The Prodigal God (great book!) quotes Jonathan Edwards saying:

“The difference between believing that God is gracious and tasting that God is gracious is a different as having a rational belief that honey is sweet and having the actual sense of its sweetness.”

John Owen talked about this head/heart perspective this way:

“When the heart is cast indeed into the mould of the doctrine that the mind embraceth—when the evidence and necessity of the truth abides in us—when not the sense of the words only is in our heads, but the sense of the thing abides in our hearts—when we have communion with God in the doctrine we contend for—then shall we be garrisoned by the grace of God against all the assaults of men. And without this all our contending is, as to ourselves, of no value. What am I the better if I can dispute that Christ is God, but have no sense of sweetness in my heart from hence that he is a God in covenant with my soul?”

Here’s to 2009 – a year I long to have more sense of that sweetness...

knowledge?

I read an article today trying to fight the voice in my head that’s telling me systematic reviews that have conflicting conclusions are completely pointless and discovered this random quote to ponder on a chilly winter’s evening:
“When you know a thing, to hold that you know it, and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it – this is knowledge.” –Confucius

Just thought I’d share :) I'm sure you're glad I did...

sense of wonder

Driving across town this evening Radio 4's series of The Color Purple just happened to be on and this quote just jumped out at me:

"Well, us talk and talk bout God, but I’m still adrift. Trying to chase the old white man out of my head. I been so busy thinking bout him I never truly notice nothing God make. Not a blade of corn (how it do that?) Not the color purple (where it come from?). Not the little wildflowers. Nothing."

It's so easy to get caught up with my theoretical views of who God is and what it all means that sometimes I miss the obvious things around me declaring his glory. It made me think of the Brennan Manning quote in The Ragamuffin Gospel....
"By and large, our world has lost its sense of wonder. We have grown up. We no longer catch our breath at the sight of a rainbow or the scent of a rose, as we once did. We have grown bigger and everything else smaller, less impressive. We get blasé and worldly wise and sophisticated. We no longer run our fingers through water, no longer shout at the stars or make faces at the moon.... We get so preoccupied with ourselves, the words we speak, the plans and projects we conceive that we become immune to the glory of creation."

(just one of the many glorious south african sunsets - plettenberg bay)

emotions

I had a great conversation over coffee with a friend today. We were talking about many things, but we started discussing emotions and faith. The psychology-freak in me probably makes me over-analyse on this one! This is what we discussed: I wonder if sometime we think that negative emotions are always seen to be a bad thing that we have to get sorted in order to be right with God/people? Do we say I’m down/angry/depressed at the minute, but I’m trying to get back to normal... (what is normal? coming from a psyc degree, we’re all on a spectrum anyway!) And sometimes, don’t you think that it is often our deepest, negative emotions that ultimately can draw us closer to God and point us to real hope. Maybe that sounds like a contradiction, but it’s just been something I’ve been thinking about over the summer too. It stems from two books I’ve just read: The Consolations of Theology which looks at various topics such as anxiety, depression, obsession, disappointment, pain etc from the perspectives of some great theologians, and The Cry of the Soul by two guys my dad studied with (here's one review). Some quotes to help explain what I mean:

“Anxiety is not something to flee from; but it is here, in the midst of the anxiety that is built into the fabric of our fallen world, that we can hear the promises of the gospel most sharply. It is here I am summoned to believe, to stake my all on the Son of God who loved me and gave himself up for me. -Kierkegaard

“In an important sense we must despair of all else in order to wholeheartedly rely on Christ and what he has done for us.” – Martin Luther

“Despair is an absence of hope – a loss of desire in the face of disappointment in relationship. Oddly, however, this difficult emotion can open the heart to grasp something about a hope that transcends mere human relationship. Despair can open the heart to taste hope in God.” Allender & Longman p145

“Don’t assume that resolving your turbulent emotions is the key to meeting God. It is actually within the inner mayhem of life that a stage is built for the intrusive story of His light and hope. The absence of tumult, more than its presence, is an enemy of the soul. God meets you in your weakness, not in your strength. He comforts those who mourn, not those who live above desperation.” Allender & Longman p27

I guess I’ve had one of those emotion-filled weeks... mostly negative. I’m not saying we should want to cling to those negative emotions, but I think I need to realise that in different seasons, it’s normal and maybe in the midst of when I’m struggling the most, ideas like grace and hope become so much more real. It’s completely different than some of the songs I remember singing as a child: like, climb up sunshine mountain/i’m in-right out-right upright downright happy all the time... What kind of crazy theology was that??

It’s back to a Spurgeon quote to round off this thought:
“What is my desolation? It is the black setting for the sapphire of His everlasting love.”

waiting with murray

I hadn’t heard much about Andrew Murray until this summer. And I’m not talking about the tennis player. I drove past a statue of him in Wellington, South Africa this summer on a mini road trip. Then he was the answer to a random question in a South African Trivial Pursuit game played in a wee backpackers. (We played for hours huddled up outside with our blankets and hot water bottles in Oudtshoorn, SA - the ostrich capital of the world apparently... I also learned the important information that day that ostriches eat stones!) The third time Murray came up was on my dad’s bookshelf in Nigeria. I always raid my dad’s hundreds of books when I’m at home and this summer was no exception. I read a book called Waiting on God by Murray (which I discovered is only one of his 240+ books). Much of what he said resonated with me. It seems like he had such a heart for abiding in/waiting on God... Talking about waiting he said this:

“This is the one thing we need. If we but saw our God in his love, if we believed that he waits to be gracious, that he waits to be our life and to work all in us—how this waiting on God would become our highest joy, the natural and spontaneous response of our hearts to his great love and glory.”

imagination

I’ve decided that Spurgeon is the man... so have a few other people (check this out for Piper’s view ages ago and Driscoll’s blog recently). My wee nephew and my grandfather share/d the first part of his name which has probably has increased my interest in him, initially at least. I took his morning and evening devotional with me to South Africa and so many times I read things that just made sense for that day, even if it was written so long ago.

I have this thing about quotes (ask my family). I love them. I know it’s silly and probably it makes my own thoughts a bit unoriginal, but somehow the way someone puts a simple thought in words captures my imagination. Here’s a few from Spurgeon that I wrote down over the summer...
“Our griefs cannot mar the melody of our praise; we reckon them to be the bass part of our life’s song”
“The fig tree may not blossom and the flocks may cease from the field, it matters not to the man who can sing ‘My beloved is mine and I am His’.”
“If Christ be anything, He must be everything.”
“Ought we not to look upon our own history as being at least as full of God, as full of His goodness and of His truth, as much a proof of His faithfulness and veracity as the lives of any of the saints who have gone before?”
“Blessed are the waves that wash the mariner upon the rock of salvation.”
“Rejoice O my soul, that thou art spared to testify of the faithfulness of the Lord. The seasons change and thou changest; but thy Lord abides evermore the same and the streams of His love are as deep, as broad and as full as ever.”

untravelled world

I am a part of all that I have met;
Yet all experience is an arch wherethrough
Gleams that untravelled world, whose margin fades
For ever and for ever when I move.
How dull it is to pause, to make an end,
To rust unburnished, not to shine in use!
As though to breathe were life....

(a wee bit of Tennyson's Ulysses)

wahey! I'm heading to south africa today :)

AND, not just either / or

I’ve just finished a book called Why We’re Not Emergent (By Two Guys Who Should Be). Having read a few books recently by authors in the emergent movement, I felt like I wanted a different perspective on some of the things I was reading. (This book is more about emergent than emerging.) I think this book tried to give an honest critique of key issues - while commenting on many positives they are honest about some problems they see. Some things they discuss include: the idea of a journey without a destination, if doubt and uncertainty should really be seen as humility, the emergent view of modernism, the need for propositions, boundaries, and recognition of theological error, problems with “give me Jesus, not doctrine” perspective, an over-realised eschatology, the emergent view of scripture, the place of preaching, penal substitution, God’s wrath and much more. But I think they manage to join the ‘conversation’ in an often humorous, but humble way. You can check out part of the book on their website here. And here are a few reviews from various sides: Tim Challies, Dan Kimball and theooze.com.

In the last chapter (the best I think), one of the authors reflects on the churches in Revelation and highlights the need for emergent and non-emergent churches to be careful not to be lopsided churches; learning the beauty of AND, not just either / or:

“...my hope is that [the church] could be marked by grace and truth, logical precision and warmhearted passion, careful thinking and compassionate feeling, strong theology and tender love, Christian liberty and spiritual discipline, congregational care and committed outreach, diversity without doctrinal infidelity, ambition without arrogance, and contentment without complacency...I believe this is God’s vision for the church.” p257

follow close behind

As I've been thinking about the mind over the last few days, it has led me to reflect on the mind of Christ. Helen Roseveare say this:

"Only as we are indwelt by the Holy Spirit, allowing Him to change us into the likeness of Christ, truly giving us the 'mind of Christ', that we might think as He thinks, love as He loves, weep as He weeps -- only then will we be motivated to move out, as Christ left heaven to become flesh and dwell among us. Only then will we be willing to be spent and not count the cost."

Thinking about Jesus coming among us and about the cost of following Him, I'm reminded, at the beginning of Lent, about Jesus' journey to the cross and His call for me to follow. I have part of a verse written on the front of my journal and it reminds me of that journey.
It says:
"my soul follows close behind you..." Ps 63:8 (The Living Bible)
I just love the image it creates of following... That's what I desire: to follow hard after God; to follow close to Him; to have more of the mind of Christ; to being willing to be spent and not count the cost in the coming days as I journey...

politics and peace

For some reason, I'm fascinated with the US elections at the minute. I'm not really sure why... I just find it so interesting... the issues, the personalities, the debates, the late night vote counts, the newspapers' analysis etc. Just to the get in the politics mood, I've watched loads of West Wing on my week off.. maybe a little too much... I feel like I still have Aaron Sorkin's quick dialogue bouncing around my head and feel as if I should be walking through corridors somewhere while discussing how to resolve the tragedy that's unfolding in Kenya. I've liked some of Obama's speeches this week... maybe it's cause i've been thinking about hope recently and he seems to talk about it all the time. Yesterday in his victory in SC he said, "While we breathe, we will hope..."

Talking about a different hope, CH Spurgeon said that "Hope itself is like a star... only to be discovered in the night of adversity."

*****
I've also been thinking about contentment today. I'm starting a new semester tomorrow and I do have a peace that I'm still in the right place... even if I'm sometimes still restless for something else, something more...
Francis Schaeffer said "When I am not contented, it's because I am not letting God be God, or I have ceased to be thankful."
On the other hand, Max Lucado states that "Unhappiness on earth cultivates a hunger for heaven. By gracing us with a deep dissatisfaction, God holds our attention..."

I'm not sure which of those two perspectives I'm thinking today... Maybe both: I need to let God be God, but continue to thirst too for the deeper, the higher...

So, back to Spurgeon, (who said that contentment is one of the flowers of heaven...) my prayer for the start of a new term is this:
"May there come over [my] spirit a deep calm as when Christ hushed both winds and waves. May [I] feel not only resignation to your will but delight in it."

alone and community

"Let him who cannot be alone beware of community. Let him who is not in community beware of being alone..."

"Only as we are within the fellowship can we be alone, and only he that is alone can live in the fellowship."

"The more genuine and the deeper our community becomes, the more will everything else between us recede, the more clearly and purely will Jesus Christ and his work become the one and only thing that is vital between us."

Just some thoughts from Dietrich Bonhoeffer's Life Together that I read recently. He understood the need to both be in community and yet still to be able to be alone... I'm craving community at the minute and just feel like I'm floating a bit. But at the same time, I have so much to learn about being alone before God... learning the freedom to be alone...

"What a man is alone on his knees before God, that he is, and no more."

-Robert Murray M'Cheyne