"Repentance means turning from as much as you know of your sin to give as much as you know of yourself to as much as you know of your God, and as our knowledge grows at these three points, so our practice of repentance has to be enlarged." -J.I. Packer
And from another ''borrowed" book, this time from my dad...
"If we ought ever to exercise our affections at all, then they ought to be exercised about those objects which are most worthy of them. But is there anything which Christians can find in heaven or earth so worthy to be the objects of their admiration and love, their earnest and longing desires, their hope, and their rejoicing, and their fervent zeal, as these things that are held forth to us in the gospel of Jesus Christ?" - Jonathan Edwards, Religious Affections
Tuesday 24 February 2009
Saturday 21 February 2009
wayfaring
"Here we see but through a glass darkly. It does not yet appear what we shall be. We are now but as wayfaring men, wandering in the lonely night, who see dimly upon the distant mountain peak the reflection of a sun that never rises here, but which shall never set in the 'new heavens' hereafter." Horatius Bonar, Home
I love this version of Wayfaring Stranger...
I love this version of Wayfaring Stranger...
Wednesday 18 February 2009
thankful
I was chatting to my granny tonight and decided to ask about our family history... she pulled out a family tree that she had started and I found out the names of some of my great-grandparents - names I've never heard before. James and Hannah, Charles and Elizabeth. And great great grandfathers Robert and John.
She also pulled out a booklet I'd never seen that was dictated by my grandfather (on the other side) near the end of his life. It recounts his childhood memories, his family history, the changes in his life as a dairy farmer. This is how the booklet ends...
"I give thanks and praise to Almighty God for his love and direction over every aspect of my life and work down through the years. Now in my blindness I recall many many years of happiness and I patiently wait until my Lord says "Come up Higher". Then I shall be in Heaven for all Eternity."
Mood: thankful
She also pulled out a booklet I'd never seen that was dictated by my grandfather (on the other side) near the end of his life. It recounts his childhood memories, his family history, the changes in his life as a dairy farmer. This is how the booklet ends...
"I give thanks and praise to Almighty God for his love and direction over every aspect of my life and work down through the years. Now in my blindness I recall many many years of happiness and I patiently wait until my Lord says "Come up Higher". Then I shall be in Heaven for all Eternity."
Mood: thankful
Friday 13 February 2009
love
ok, so not the valentine's day type of love but... some quotes anyway for the craic :)
"Mine is an unchanging love
higher than the heights above
deeper than the depths beneath
free and faithful, strong as death"
-William Cowper
(from Hark my soul... crap tune, great words)
"If the love of a father will not make a child delight in him, what will?" -John Owen
Whoever, therefore, thinks he understands the divine Scriptures or any part of them so that it does not build the double love of God and of our neighbour does not understand it at all.
-Augustine
"Mine is an unchanging love
higher than the heights above
deeper than the depths beneath
free and faithful, strong as death"
-William Cowper
(from Hark my soul... crap tune, great words)
"If the love of a father will not make a child delight in him, what will?" -John Owen
Whoever, therefore, thinks he understands the divine Scriptures or any part of them so that it does not build the double love of God and of our neighbour does not understand it at all.
-Augustine
Thursday 12 February 2009
have you ever seen...
I love sunsets. For 10 years of my life, we could watch the sunset at the back of our garden through the silhouette of eucalyptus trees...I miss that view. I'm getting to see loads at the minute because the sun's always setting as I'm leaving work these days and I drive mostly in the direction it's setting. In my unrealistic world I think I'd like to live on the western side of a land mass (odd that I've thought about this I know...) because sunsets over ocean are just the best combination ... ie west donegal or the western cape of south africa being my 2 experiences of this ocean/sunset combo. Anyway, here's a poem...
The Sun by Mary Oliver
Have you ever seen
anything
in your life
more wonderful
than the way the sun,
every evening,
relaxed and easy,
floats toward the horizon
and into the clouds or the hills,
or the rumpled sea, and is gone--
and how it slides again
out of the blackness,
every morning,
on the other side of the world,
like a red flower
streaming upward on its heavenly oils,
say, on a morning in early summer,
at its perfect imperial distance--
and have you ever felt for anything such wild love--
do you think there is anywhere,
in any language,
a word billowing enough
for the pleasure
that fills you,
as the sun
reaches out,
as it warms you
as you stand there,
empty-handed--
or have you too
turned from this world--
or have you too
gone crazy
for power,
for things?
The Sun by Mary Oliver
Have you ever seen
anything
in your life
more wonderful
than the way the sun,
every evening,
relaxed and easy,
floats toward the horizon
and into the clouds or the hills,
or the rumpled sea, and is gone--
and how it slides again
out of the blackness,
every morning,
on the other side of the world,
like a red flower
streaming upward on its heavenly oils,
say, on a morning in early summer,
at its perfect imperial distance--
and have you ever felt for anything such wild love--
do you think there is anywhere,
in any language,
a word billowing enough
for the pleasure
that fills you,
as the sun
reaches out,
as it warms you
as you stand there,
empty-handed--
or have you too
turned from this world--
or have you too
gone crazy
for power,
for things?
Sunday 8 February 2009
living today
Getting distracted by the uncertainty of my future a wee bit today but reminded of this quote I read a few weeks ago in one of my granda's old books again...
"Instead of allowing the future and thoughts of it to grip you, talk to yourself, remind yourself of who you are and what you are, and of what Spirit is within you; and having reminded yourself of the character of the Spirit, you will be able to go steadily forward, fearing nothing, living in the present, ready for the future, with one desire only, to glorify Him who gave His all for you..."
p105 Martyn Lloyd Jones in Spiritual Depression
Also really not wanting to wish away the next few months of my life...
"For a long time it seemed to me that life... was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time to still be served, a debt to be paid. Then life ... would begin. At last it dawned on my that these obstacles were my life."
Alfred Souza (HT: peter)
“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own,’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life—the life God is sending one day by day; what one calls one’s ‘real life’ is a phantom of one’s own imagination. This at least is what I see at moments of insight: but it’s hard to remember it all the time." CS Lewis
"Instead of allowing the future and thoughts of it to grip you, talk to yourself, remind yourself of who you are and what you are, and of what Spirit is within you; and having reminded yourself of the character of the Spirit, you will be able to go steadily forward, fearing nothing, living in the present, ready for the future, with one desire only, to glorify Him who gave His all for you..."
p105 Martyn Lloyd Jones in Spiritual Depression
Also really not wanting to wish away the next few months of my life...
"For a long time it seemed to me that life... was about to begin - real life. But there was always some obstacle to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time to still be served, a debt to be paid. Then life ... would begin. At last it dawned on my that these obstacles were my life."
Alfred Souza (HT: peter)
“The great thing, if one can, is to stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of one’s ‘own,’ or ‘real’ life. The truth is of course that what one calls the interruptions are precisely one’s real life—the life God is sending one day by day; what one calls one’s ‘real life’ is a phantom of one’s own imagination. This at least is what I see at moments of insight: but it’s hard to remember it all the time." CS Lewis
Tuesday 3 February 2009
grace to abide
Another random quote that just struck a cord with me...
"The idea [many Christians] have of grace is this: that their conversion and pardon are God's work, but that now, in gratitude to God, it is their work to live as Christians and follow Jesus... No wandering one, as it was Jesus who drew thee when He spake 'Come' so it is Jesus who keeps thee when he says 'Abide'. The grace to come and the grace to abide are alike from Him alone."
-Andrew Murray
Do I only see grace as this: 'O to grace, how great a debtor, daily I'm constrained to be...'
"The idea [many Christians] have of grace is this: that their conversion and pardon are God's work, but that now, in gratitude to God, it is their work to live as Christians and follow Jesus... No wandering one, as it was Jesus who drew thee when He spake 'Come' so it is Jesus who keeps thee when he says 'Abide'. The grace to come and the grace to abide are alike from Him alone."
-Andrew Murray
Do I only see grace as this: 'O to grace, how great a debtor, daily I'm constrained to be...'
Monday 2 February 2009
perspective
Today, one of my wee patients (not to sound too patronising... but she was wee) on a dander up the ward with me said, ‘I’m so lucky. I could be in Darfur or the Gaza strip...’ She was referring to access to healthcare. I guess perspective on healthcare can be a great thing. I’m not sure everyone would agree on her outlook on it... but I have to say that when people complain about the NHS, I do sometimes feel like saying – go to Africa and then complain... (even though occassionally I know it's probably been me that's been complaining about workforce planning, agenda for change confusion, bureaucracy etc.. i get sucked in being a CSP rep...).
In general though, I think the same thing about university. Ok, so I’ve been frustrated by lack of efficiency/some terrible lecturers at times, but talking to friends in Nigeria and considering the alternative of endless strikes, corruption and having to play the game to get through, I’d take it any day. It’s all relative.
But then I know that comparing things to the worst rather than the best doesn’t promote a desire for excellence and it's easy to settle for the status quo...
The psychologist wanabe (who appears randomly in my mind) would refer to this article – maybe our common emotional response to the NHS is all based on our expectations and maybe we have a silver medalist complex... because we're aiming for gold.
In general though, I think the same thing about university. Ok, so I’ve been frustrated by lack of efficiency/some terrible lecturers at times, but talking to friends in Nigeria and considering the alternative of endless strikes, corruption and having to play the game to get through, I’d take it any day. It’s all relative.
But then I know that comparing things to the worst rather than the best doesn’t promote a desire for excellence and it's easy to settle for the status quo...
The psychologist wanabe (who appears randomly in my mind) would refer to this article – maybe our common emotional response to the NHS is all based on our expectations and maybe we have a silver medalist complex... because we're aiming for gold.
Tuesday 27 January 2009
i can only imagine
The sunset was stunning today on my drive home . . . it made me think of heaven. And a few quotes...
"I feel sometimes as if I were a child who opens its eyes on the world once and sees amazing things it will never know any names for and then it has to close its eyes again. I know this is all mere apparition compared to what awaits, but it is only lovelier for that." (Gilead p65)
but it's hope / glimpses of so much more than a sunset...
"Jesus, unlike the founder of any other major faith, holds out hope for ordinary human life. Our future is not an etheral impersonal form of consciousness. We will not float through the air but rather will eat, embrace, sing, laugh and dance in the kingdom of God, in degrees of power, glory and joy that we can't at present imagine." (The Prodigal God p104)
"I feel sometimes as if I were a child who opens its eyes on the world once and sees amazing things it will never know any names for and then it has to close its eyes again. I know this is all mere apparition compared to what awaits, but it is only lovelier for that." (Gilead p65)
but it's hope / glimpses of so much more than a sunset...
"Jesus, unlike the founder of any other major faith, holds out hope for ordinary human life. Our future is not an etheral impersonal form of consciousness. We will not float through the air but rather will eat, embrace, sing, laugh and dance in the kingdom of God, in degrees of power, glory and joy that we can't at present imagine." (The Prodigal God p104)
Saturday 24 January 2009
just another patient?
I’ve just finished a book one of my lovely doctor friends gave me for Christmas. I’ve actually been meaning to read this book for ages – it was recommended by one of my lecturers 3 years ago during an in-depth discussion about caring for patients with communication difficulties and the perspective of the patient. It’s called The Diving Bell and the Butterfly written by a guy (the former editor-in-chief of Elle) who had a massive stroke and could only communicate by blinking one eye – that’s how he dictated the book. It’s a reflection on life (past and present), his relationships, emotions and thoughts in this ‘locked in’ world. Some of the most interesting parts for me were his impressions of the hospital staff...
“...gentle, rough, caring, indifferent, hardworking, lazy, the ones you can make contact with and the ones to whom you are just another patient. At first some of the staff had terrified me. I saw them as my jailers, as accomplices in some awful plot.
Later I hated some of them, those who wrenched my arm while putting me in my wheelchair, left me all night long with the TV on, let me lie in a painful position despite my protests. For a few minutes or a few hours I would cheerfully have killed them. And later still, as time cooled my fiercest rages, I got to know them better. They carried out as best they could their delicate mission: to ease our burden a little when our crosses bruised our shoulders too painfully...”
It reminded me of a quote I read in one of my ‘required reading’ articles a few months ago... “One of the essential qualities of the clinician is interest in humanity, for the secret of the care of the patient is in caring for the patient” Francis Peabody 1927
I'm back to the hospital world on monday :)
“...gentle, rough, caring, indifferent, hardworking, lazy, the ones you can make contact with and the ones to whom you are just another patient. At first some of the staff had terrified me. I saw them as my jailers, as accomplices in some awful plot.
Later I hated some of them, those who wrenched my arm while putting me in my wheelchair, left me all night long with the TV on, let me lie in a painful position despite my protests. For a few minutes or a few hours I would cheerfully have killed them. And later still, as time cooled my fiercest rages, I got to know them better. They carried out as best they could their delicate mission: to ease our burden a little when our crosses bruised our shoulders too painfully...”
It reminded me of a quote I read in one of my ‘required reading’ articles a few months ago... “One of the essential qualities of the clinician is interest in humanity, for the secret of the care of the patient is in caring for the patient” Francis Peabody 1927
I'm back to the hospital world on monday :)
Tuesday 20 January 2009
had a dream...
The world's eyes will be on Washington and Obama tomorrow. The BBC have uncovered footage of Martin Luther King in 1964 predicting an African-American president in less than 40 years... even in less than 25 years, which I just think is amazing... in 1964! I admire MLK's belief - maybe that's part of what made him so dynamic - he had a dream. Regardless of what you think about politics, and specifically american politics, it is a significant week. Know hope.
Wednesday 14 January 2009
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